When is it enough?

Avraham wanted his servant, Eliezer, to go find a wife for his son, Yitzchak. He told Eliezer to go to the town where his family lived in Charan and find a wife from within the family. Eliezer, not knowing how to find this girl, he went to the well. Eliezer saw a woman named Rivka. Eliezer ran towards her and asked her for a drink. She quickly gave him and …

The Torah tells us “When she finished giving him drink, she said, ‘I will draw water even for your camels until they have finished drinking.’ …And it was, when the camels had finished drinking, the man took a golden nose ring, its weight was a beka, and two bracelets on her arms…”

There is a very significant difference in the way Rivka gave water to Eliezer and how she gave water to his camels. This difference teaches us a concept regarding doing acts of kindness.

When Rivka gave water to Eliezer, it was she who decided when to stop giving him water. When she felt that he had enough water, she then “finished giving him drink.” However, when Rivka gave water to his camels, she only stopped giving them water “when the camels were finished drinking.”

When we do an act of kindness for someone, we’re usually the ones who choose just how much time to spend doing this Chessed. This is because if someone does a kind gesture, he or she usually controls how much time and effort to put in to it.

However, if you allow the recipient of the act of kindness tell you when you’ve done enough, then that’s an entirely different experience altogether.

For example, let’s assume you have a friend or family member that’s emotionally very needy and sometimes requires a lot of attention. Listening to this person talk endlessly might be absolutely the right thing to do. But since he’s usually never the one to end the conversation, you’ll usually engage him until you’ve “finished giving him drink” and then gently end the conversation. This is how Rivka was toward Eliezer and it’s a beautiful act of kindness.

However, if once in a while you listened to and spent time with this person until he ended the conversation and “had finished drinking,” it would be an even greater act simular to what Rivka did for the camels.

Friends, when doing an act of kindness we often feel a sense of entitlement that tells us that we can stop our generosity when we decide to do so. It goes against our nature to give until the receiving says to stop. But sometimes this is exactly what Hashem wants us to shoot for.

Good Shabbos,
Zevi

Is it impossible for G-d?

After the angels of Hashem disguised as people tell Avraham at the prime age of 99 that his wife Sarah who was 89, would give birth to a baby the following year. Sarah overheard this in her quarters, and began to laugh, Hashem got upset and asked “why is she laughing? is there anything impossible for Hashem?”

In life we sometimes find ourselves in difficult situations, and someone we never knew is sitting next to us on the bus going wherever, and as he gets off the bus, turns and says “Hatzlacha” or “good luck” we answer “Amen” but sometimes we laugh to ourselves, and we say “eh what does this guy know how can i be Matzliach at this, I already burnt the bridge with the client im working on, I”m giving it one last chance, but how do I know it will work?, or better yet, I know it wont work, but I”m doing my job”

Sometimes we even feel so lost and don’t know where to turn. We think there is no hope. I just read in the beautiful Living with The Parsha series a story about R’ Mordechai Pogramansky ZT”L who even as a young man was known all over the lithuanian world as a unique individual of epic proportions in Torah and Mitvos.

R’ Mordechai was once riding the train when another person on the train suddenly cried out, “Oh no, I missed my stop! Im a Mohel and I need to check on a baby, now I need to get off the next stop and take the train in the other direction I lost so much time.”

R’ Mordechai told the man, “you know why the Torah when it talks about how when Avraham sent Hagar and Yishmael out of the house, it says that Hagar got lost in the desert of B’er Sheva, RashI says it means that she went back to her old ways of idol worship etc. Why was Rashi not happy with the literal meaning that she got lost, that she could not figure out where she was going and find her way? The answer is that a believing Jew knows that he is never “lost” because he knows that Hashem is always with him. If it seemed he has lost all sense of direction, he can be satisfied knowing that Hashem wanted this to happen for whatever reason. So, if Hagar “became lost” this obviously means she did not live by the beliefs she picked up in the house of Avraham”

Believe it or not as the train pulled into the next train station, and the doors opened. There was someone on the platform shouting “My wife had a baby boy, and today is the eighth day, We need a mohel, Does anyone know of a Mohel?”……..

Friends, No matter where we are holding in life, we must always remember that as difficult as it gets, that a) is it impossible for Hashem to save you from this situation? B) IF I ended up in this situation it because Hashem wanted me here, now its my job to figure out why, and give a true Navhas Ruach to our dear father in heaven who loves us more than anything in the world, and wants for us to succeed if we are putting in the effort he expects from us.

Have a great Shabbos,
Zevi

Let nothing get in the way of your success

Avraham Avinu, saw things and understood that they were not going right, things just did not make sense. He started asking questions, pulling him closer and closer to our creator, till the point where he gets a message “go” and he gets up from all of the surroundings he knew and went on a journey going further on his conquest to find Hashem. Chazzal tell us, when Avraham got up and went when Hashem said go, for that he was zoche that the next time to “Vayeira Hashem EL Avraham”, the next time he saw G-d. Avraham gave up everything to find Hashem, and not even a command of slaughtering his own child deterred him from striving to get closer to Hashem, for that Hashem told him “Avraham Ohavi” Avraham my beloved one, because you gave up everything for me, I will make you a nation, a nation that the world will look up to.

There were people like Shem V’Ever, who were around way before Avraham? Why didn’t they become the Avos, the founders of Judaism, as a matter of fact, if we would just learn the chummash we would not know they even existed, if not for the MEdrashim. Avraham, let nothing stop from finding Hashem and spreading his findings, for that he was he became Av Hamon Goyim, A Father amongst all the nations, which is a step above.

Friends, we can learn from our father Avraham, nothing got in his way, and nothing stopped his growth to become what he became, we should take lesson from this and put our minds to it and we will see we can accomplish great things, MAy we be Zoche each of us on our own level to come to a “Lech Lecha” Go for yourself, for no other reason then your own good, never let anything get in the way of becoming the greatest human being you could possibly be.

Good Shabbos,
Zevi

Cry for them!

We know it took 120 years to build the teiva was that to give the people around time to do Teshuva or to give Noach time to make an impact?

When describing the building of the Teivah, one of the instructions is “Tzohar Taaseh L’Teivah” Rashi explains this to mean that there should be a window in the Teivah.

The “Lomzshe/Łomża Rov” Rabbi Moshe Shatzkes ZT”L tells us that this window besides for being a light source, it was also so the people who were being saved, Noach and his children, in the Teivah, should see the world getting destroyed and feel the pain, and cry over it, not to make them haughty about the fact that they were saved.

Jody Osborn and Stuart Derbyshire of the University of Birmingham recruited 108 participants, and showed them static images (below) and film clips depicting painful events. The participants were asked to report anything they felt while viewing the images, and to rate the level of disgust, unpleasantness, sadness and fear elicited by each, using a questionnaire. They were also asked to report the level of empathy they felt for the person in each photograph. Thirty one of the 108 participants, or about one third of the group, reported feeling pain in response to one or more of the images or clips.

There are many people who like to refer to Yeshivos as mini Teivos, places of rescue that will keep you alive and keep you surviving in the stormy world out there. While this is true and it help keep us out of trouble, we must always have windows to see the reality of what is happening in the street, and not not to give us more of a “Shtultz” that we are in Yeshiva and “they” are not. WE need to not get to haughty about ourselves, but rather we should cry with these boys at the very least.

Friends, We often put ourselves in a bubble, we have a our clique of friends, and we are the “in chevra” Sometime people don’t make the cut, we have to make sure that in our bubble we realize what is going on around us, and cry for these souls that are lost and did not make it in to a teiva.

Good Shabbos,
Zevi

All for ME

R’ Bunim used to say that in one pocket a person should hold the phrase “V’anochi Afar V’eifer” loosely translated as, “I am nothing”. In the other pocket the concept of “Bshvili Nivra Haolam” The world was created for me.

You see the concept of “ this world was created for me” is not a license to be a selfish person and walk around like you own the world.

Isn’t it amazing how after a month of Elul and Tishrei, where we are working on our relationship with the almighty, By now we should have reached that level of V’anoch afar v’eifer, I deserve nothing and everything I get from Hashem is a blessing? At this time we learn our story, the story of creation from the beginning again. We learn about the days of creation, and how Hashem created everything, and he did it all for me, not because i deserve it, he did it all for me because he loves me so much.

Friends, when we can look at our life and count our blessings, we will see how much Hashem does for us because he loves us, and that will imy”h inspire us to hold on to that relationship, throughout the year and we will come back next Rosh Hashna, better and stronger.

Good Shabbos,
Zevi

Return Again

The Posuk in this week’s parsha talks about the Jews’ reaction to the punishments that happened to them in gollus. The Ramban points out that although the Posuk speaks of feelings of introspection and recognition of things we have done wrong, it does not describe complete repentance. What does the Ramban mean? That sounds like teshuva!

R’ Mordechai Gifter ZT”L explains, Teshuva needs more than recognizing what the person did wrong. He has to realize that he has distanced himself from Hashem and make sure to try to not do that action again. What the Posuk is describing is just the beginning stages. The fact that the perpetrator did not return to Hashem is a sign that there was not a complete Teshuva.

The Navi in Hosheia tells us, “Return, Klal Yisroel, to Hashem, your G-d, because you stumbled with your aveiros.” We may have recognized and acknowledged that we have stumbled, and we realize Hashem is king over all of creation, yet we are still told to continue until we actually return to Hashem.

We say in our weekday Shmoneh Esrei “Vhachzireinu Btushav Shleima Lifanecha Return us with a complete Teshuva to you.” Until we reach the point that we actually return “to Hashem” we can not consider our Teshuva complete.

Friends, let us all try during these holy days, of Aseres Yimei Teshuva, which are halfway done, to really try to introspect and recognize where we have gone wrong, and then we will see the walls we have created between us and our creator. Granted he is waiting just on the side of the wall, but the walls we created separate us, and we need to figure out ways to break down the boundaries and return all the way, till Hashem.

Good Shabbos,
Zevi

It’s so close

Moshe Rabbeinu gathers the entire nation and exclaims, “You are all gathered here together ………. Behold the Mitzvah that I am going to tell you today. It’s not removed from you and it’s not far away, it is not in Heaven to say, ‘who will go up and bring it down and tell it over to us’. It is not across the river to say, ‘who will cross the river and bring it back to us’. Because this matter is very close to you, very accessible, what it takes is your mouth and your heart in order to accomplish it…………………… Take a look, I have place front of your eyes today Life and Good and Death and Evil …………………………… I am begging you choose Life so that you and your children will live.”

The Ramban and The Sforno say that it is referring to the Mitzva of Teshuva, no wonder we read this every year the Shabbos we, the B’nei Ashkenaz, start saying Selichos. The Satan tells us, “You did this aveira, you think you can do teshuva on it? You bum, you low life, you have no hope”. Moshe Rabbeinu is telling us, “Haposeach Shaar Lidofkei BiTeshuva, it is not far away, the door to Teshuva is right here. Grab a hold of life and do good.”

R’ Leib Chassman asks a question as follows, “If i were to ask two people how to get from point A to point B and one would say it is a 12 hr plane ride and the other would say that it is a 20 min walk, then they are obviously not talking in the same language. If one said 20 min and the other said 30 min, so then there is an argument and a safek, but here one said 12hrs by plane and the other said a 20 min walk, they are not talking the same language. When we say “It’s not in Shamayim, it is right here,” it is two different languages, what is happening here?

R’ Leib wanted to answer that, if a person tries to do Teshuva without inspiration, it is very distant. However, if a person is inspired to change, the opportunities are right in front of his eyes.

How does a person get that inspiration? He has to try and old concept called taking “time to think”.

When Yaakov was fighting with the Satan, and asked him, “What is your name?” The Malach answered, “Why are you asking?” REALLY!?! That is the way malachim talk? I have heard that talk in Kindergarten and Pre-1A but malachim? R’ Chaim Shmulevitz ZT”L said that the Malach was saying “My mission is to get you not to ask.” We live our lives so busy , we have no time to think. Everything is out of routine, we don’t stop to think, where is my life headed, am I doing what I am supposed to be doing. This is the first step to do teshuva and the Satan keeps us so busy so we don’t ask such questions and be nisorer to do Teshuva.

After Adam did the sin of eating from the Eitz Hadas and Kayin killed Hevel, they were kicked out of Gan Eden. Adam bumped in to Kayin, says the Medrash, and asked him, “What are you doing here?” Kayin answered, “I am doing Teshuva.” Right then Adam composed Mizmor Shir Liyom HaShabbos. What does Mizmor Shir have to do with Teshuva? The answer is that Adam now realized the gift of Shabbos as a time to rest, a time to slow down and think, am I doing the right thing with my life or not.

R’ Yaakov Galinsky says over that when he was learning in Novardok, when a bochur was feeling down, he would go to the Bialystoker shul and learn mussar for a few hours and then come back to Yeshiva. R’ Yaakov walked in to the shul and he heard the Steipler Gaon repeating a Gemara that says, “This world is like a wedding, eat the food, drink the drink, because it won’t last forever.” R’ Galinsky says he heard the Steipler repeat this many times, over a few hours, till he had enough and was in a better mood and went back to learn.

The Ribono Shel Olam should help us open our eyes to all the opportunity that lies right under our noses, in front of our faces, that we don’t see. It is right here in front of us, the opportunity to grab the good and live our lives to the fullest with Bracha ad ein Shiur. All we need to do is stop, and contemplate what we need to change and we will see the many opportunities available to us.

Good Shabbos,
Zevi

Seize the Opportunity

This week’s Parsha mentions the Tochacha, a whole list of curses. What are these curses for? That Torah tells us: “Tachas Asher Lo Avadeta Es Hashem Elokecha B’Simcha B’tuv Leivav Umeirov Kol / Because you did not serve Hashem with Happiness, with a good heart, and with everything you had (Whenever you had the opportunity).

There is a Rashi, at the end of the Parsha on the words, “Hashem, did give them the heart.” Rashi points out that this means, “the Heart to understand, and recognize the wonderful kindness of Hashem, and become connected to Him”.

Friends, we need to look deep into our hearts, and see all the tremendous kindness that Hashem does for us everyday. Realize how many opportunities we have to serve Hashem, with “Everything” that we can, with a good heart, and we must do it happily, out of our Love for Hashem. We need to make sure that what we are doing, we are doing it for the right reasons, not just out of habit. If we do it all happily, we will be spared from all the curses, and retain all the many Brachos that are written as well.

Good Shabbos,

Zevi

You can do it

The Parsha starts off saying, “Ki Seitzei L’milchama al Oivecha, Unisana Hashem Elokecha B’yadecha”, “When you go out to fight your enemies, Hashem will place him in your hand.”

We all have this difficult fight, day in and day out, with what we think is our enemies. We fight with the Yetzer Horah, who poses himself as so many different creatures that we sometimes think we are fighting an entire army.

Says the Torah, “when you go fight your enemies, Hashem will place HIM in your hand.” You will succeed. If you going to fight with the yetzer Horah, you are going to fight evil, Hashem will help you succeed.

At this point of Elul, mamish two weeks before Rosh Hashanah, perhaps it is a time better than ever to fight and win our Enemy and have Hashem place him in our hands.

Good Shabbos to all,
Zevi

Chance of Return

This week’s parsha starts off telling us that we should appoint judges and policeman in all of Eretz Hakodesh.  Rashi emphasizes the importance of appointing judges who are experts and are Tzadikim. Rav Asher Weiss in his Sefer Michas Asher brings down the Ketzos Hachoshen in hilchos dayanim in the beginning, asks as follows: Rashi says we have to make sure to appoint professional and righteous Judges, but he does not express how important it is to listen to them. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to say that the zchus of practicing justice throughout the nation allows us to live in the land? What zechus is there in simply appointing good judges?

The Ketzos explains by bringing in two other stories in Tanach. One is in Parshas Vayeira in which we learn about the cruelty in which the people of Sodom treated their guests. In Sefer Shoftim we learn about the story of Pilegesh B’givah, where a woman was very cruelly murdered by the people in the city of Givah. In Sodom, the entire nation was destroyed, leaving only Lot to tell the tale and he was only saved in Avraham Avinu’s Zechus, as explained by the Chofetz Chaim on the Torah. However, when it came to Givah, they were saved and did not suffer such a destruction . How were the people of Givah more zocheh to the rachamanus of Hakadosh Baruch Hu more than the people of Sodom?

The answer is as follows: Sodom had more than the fact that they were cruel that made them guilty. It was more than than having a corrupt judicial system. The Gemara in Sanhedrin KUF Tes Amud Beis tells us that the names of the four Judges in Sodom were Shikraei, Shakruei, Zeify and Matzli;  Liar, Trickster, Forger, and Corrupter of justice. The legal system of Sodom was evil until it became an accepted evil and the way of life. Therefore there  was no more hope of reforming them and they had to be destroyed.

The people of Givah, even though they were cruel and bad people, still had a moral compass in their judicial system, that was designed to punish evil and enforce justice . As long as the nation maintains ideals of justice, we have hope to reform them. No matter how much a person strays, as long as he is connected with a righteous community, he has a chance of return. Now we understand why Rashi did not need to emphasize that we have to listen to the judges, for we now know we have to abide by our morals and as long as they are  with us, we have a chance of return, even as we drift off with the wind.

Friends, this lesson we can take upon ourselves as well. We must be our own judge, because no matter how far gone a person is, as long as he has good moral ideals, he has a chance of returning. May we all be Zocheh to have the right leaders to inspire us to return and do Teshuva, while we still can, before the great days of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur comes upon us.

Good Shabbos,
Zevi